When You’re the CEO of Everything: Mindset Shifts for Moms Who Do It All

Real talk this week? I’m tired. I’m a chef, chauffeur, bedtime negotiator, AND a full-time powerhouse. That’s a lot of hats for just one person. Throw in the chaotic noise of a dog that always is whining and you are one minor inconvenience away from an unscheduled blow-up. Just know you’re not alone, and no — you’re not failing. You’re just human. This week I wanted to explore better ways of reframing all of the negatives that I like to give. While it is Thursday already that means I just have a jump start on implementing things for next week. So all in all here are five ways I am going to tackle the shift of perspective to hopefully turn this week around. 

1. From “I have to do this” → “I get to lead this team”

I cannot tell you how many times I have muttered to myself this week I have to do this, or I have to get this done. It should not be this way - well all the time because I do have to show up for the next step to work. Instead of I have to for the rest of this week I am going to lean into “I get to..”. Like I have to take this meeting, to I get to take this meeting where I discuss how awesome my teams are. Not “I have to be the disciplinarian" but “I get to help shape this strong-willed little human into a future leader.” I think as I change the mindset from “I have to” to “I get to” a lot of the negative feelings to the large amount of obligations will get a little lighter. 

2. From “It’s all on me” → “I can ask for help without guilt”

Something I am quite horrible at is thinking that I own it all. I am the one who wanted a career, I am the one who wanted a family, I am the one who wanted to stay behind. But all of these things are choices I did make but because I knew the support network - should I say “Hey please help” - is all around. I need to constantly remind myself (maybe you need to read it too) that delegating isn’t weakness, it’s wisdom.

This week I’ve outsourced my complaints and agitation to my mom - mainly because she’s the one who always picks up the phone. In all honesty that’s the truth, so many times I’m trying to stuff all the feelings down and then I just explode and that’s not pretty for anyone nearby. Another thing I am delegating is swim lessons. Never in a million years did I think that I would have a father-in-law so dedicated to showing up that he takes my kid (who doesn’t want to go to swim school) twice a week. Extra brownie points - he mowed the lawn for me and I didn’t even have to ask!

All-in-all maybe asking for help means more people show up. The village gets a little larger when you open up your arms to let people in. 

3. From “This isn’t enough” → “This moment matters”

Now for my sacred doom scroll with coffee at 6:00 - okay maybe like 6:10am because that extra five minutes is heaven. Taking the time to sit in silence mainly in the dark is a moment that matters. So I have the few minutes for time I can get to go for a walk. My ‘me time” means that I get more time to pour into someone else. There’s a great proverb out there that says “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” This is a huge moment mom needs to get their head wrapped around because they are the ones with a lot of cups to fill and are some of the worst at taking time for themselves. 

This rephrasing of number three can also be reflected in child raising. With all the other things in life to juggle why not realize that even the small moments make a difference for kiddos? Lately, I am on the journey of a toddler fighting bedtime and me being so headstrong that bedtime needs to stay the same. Well while it does stay mostly the same we’ve taken up to reading a chapter book at night once we finish our other books. Right now we're reading one of the many books I fell in love with “The Phantom Tollbooth”. The last couple of nights my kid who would not fall asleep before 8:30pm is now snoozing halfway through our chapter. Man is there something special about cuddling up with that little guy knowing that even though I get to be his disciplinarian, I also am still a safe place he can fall asleep next to. 

4. From “I’m behind” → “I’m building”

I am a racer - think Lightning McQueen but girly. I race through life, degrees, and all the major milestones I see people hit. I forgot though that in life there are alternate routes that don’t always have to be the fast lane. I am learning that now. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS??? It’s kinda like coming off the highway directly onto a rural road where doing 85 to 35. It’s hard - all the time I think I am behind. Truly, I am not - I am just impatient. This though is something I realized at the beginning of the year and now I am building. I have the degrees, I have the time, and now it's all just maintenance. 

Building takes time. Building patience with myself will take even more time. But at the end of the day, I no longer need to keep thinking I am behind but I am building the life I want to live and sustain. Sure I did in-depth research on a new degree this past week because I still do not know what I want to be when I grow up but I didn’t enroll or seek out a long-term plan other than just a daydream. And that is because I am building. 

5. From “What if I burn out?” → “How can I fill up?”

Burnout is always at the forefront of my brain - maybe not for me all the time - but how do we avoid it? Well, how do we fill up? How do we prioritize ourselves even if it is just for a few minutes? I personally love a good NYTgames moment. It’s my equivalent to a smoke break at work. I get the brain break but still get to do something fun. Sometimes the fill up happens on a weekend when I convince the child that even if he doesn’t need a nap mommy does. Man, those are some of the best 20-minute cat naps ever.

Look at some of the things that you are already doing in life - maybe tweak the perspective and then you have a new way of filling up rather than burning out. Find a hobby - and then let me know what it is because I am also looking- go outside, maybe even have a dance party in the kitchen just to shake off the intrusive thoughts. Just make time for you. 

A little pep talk: You’re doing more than you know. So if you’ve found yourself this week wondering, “Am I the only one doing all of this?” — the answer is nope, you’re just in the CEO of Everything club. Membership includes unmatched multitasking skills, a superhuman coffee dependency, and the occasional closet cry. You’re not behind, you’re building. You’re not burning out, you’re learning how to fill back up. And even when you’re juggling sippy cups and Zoom calls — you, my friend, are doing a dang good job.