Happy Father’s Day to the Man I Occasionally Disappoint — But Mostly Make Proud
Most Father’s Day consists of having cookouts, bad dad jokes, and the avoidance of actual feelings. This will most likely hold for mine as well this year - but we will be sprinkling in a little bit of disappointment. Growing up there was always the joke that I was the kid they picked - ever watched the cartoon show “Cat-dog” talking I had a sibling and my parents chose me. As an adult, I now realize the joke, but until middle school, we had a running joke: I had to be a good kid because they picked me, not my brother. Enter in the jokes about being a disappointment. Overall, this has led to a huge drive to achieve success and not disappoint anyone, especially a male figure.
Growing up as the only child - no seriously, it was just me - I always wanted to be the best because that's who my parents were. My mom and dad were both the best people, but man was I a daddy’s girl (still am). There were always high expectations and it was not something that I should be leveling against my peers. If they were doing something, does not matter I should be matching my own pace and paving my pathway. Developing this desire to be successful now as a young adult is something I have to be more cautious of. I once went from coaching by my dad who was always to keep going, keeping pursuing success - now he's trying to coach me by taking a deep breath and letting more stuff go.
In college, I came across an article that was all about having “Daddy issues” which was right in my case. I did not, and still do not, want to disappoint him. Also, this means I have extremely high standards for the men in my life because of the way he treated me but also my mom. There are plenty of times where I think everyone falls short but that's something that I have to work through. At the end of the day though my Dad is the best guy out there because not only did he spoil me but he also showed me how to have a desire to achieve my success and set goals that I smash.
At the end of the day do I still disappoint him? Probably but only because at this point I do not know how to chill out. I still have to fight the mental battles that come with balancing happiness where I am and the need to seek greater success. Ultimately the amount of times I have been “lectured” or coached or even just had a great dad chat there will always be room to go. Something my family always jokes about is that we lecture because we care. This must be hereditary because my Dad says he got it from my Papa but now at this point I see myself lecturing both my husband and my kid.
Overall, I am lucky to have so many amazing father figures in my life from my dad to my papa and now watching my husband continue to grow as a father on his own. Ultimately these people have helped develop me into who I am today. So cheers to the Man I occasionally disappoint but only because I strive to make him proud.
Happy Father's Day!