The Art of Balancing a Career, a Toddler, a Pilot-in-Training, and Still Wanting a Nap

You know that meme that says, “I’m juggling so much right now, if you hand me one more thing I will genuinely start throwing stuff”? Yeah. That’s not a meme for me—it’s a lifestyle. Because trying to balance a career, a toddler, a household, and a husband who’s away for flight training should honestly qualify me for some sort of paid sabbatical, or at least a medal made entirely of chocolate. People assume it’s “not that bad” because he’s not deployed. But let’s be clear: if you are solo parenting—even temporarily—you are operating at professional-athlete levels of endurance.

The only difference is athletes get water breaks.

Mornings: Where Chaos Is the Main Character

Every morning feels like waking up inside a cartoon. My toddler is at 100% battery by 6:01 AM, and I’m still buffering.My kid isn’t a morning person either—especially on school days. Those wake-ups take teamwork, patience, and about three pep talks just to find socks. He’s reorganizing my closet like a tiny, unqualified Marie Kondo. I’m trying to remember if I brushed my hair or just thought about brushing it.

We leave the house slightly late but fully alive, which honestly feels like a win.

Work Mode: Multitasking Like It’s an Olympic Sport

Once I clock in, the day shifts into Email Ninja + Crisis Manager + “Did I already answer this or just think about answering it?” mode.

I’m balancing professional demands while mentally running through:

  • daycare schedules

  • grocery lists

  • the fact that I still haven’t scheduled that appointment

  • the existential question of what’s for dinner

If mental juggling burned calories, I would be shredded.

When Your Husband Is Gone for Training (AKA the Gray Area No One Talks About)

Here’s the part people misunderstand, he’s not gone-gone, but he’s still gone.

I’m still:

  • handling bedtime routines

  • doing dishes at 10 PM

  • managing the emotional labor

  • explaining to a toddler why Daddy is gone again

It’s solo parenting with FaceTime breaks. And yes, I signed up for this lifestyle with him. We both agreed to the pilot dream. We’re proud of it. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy—or that I don’t fantasize daily about a three-hour nap in a dark, silent room.

Toddler Time: Equal Parts Comedy and Crisis Management

Evenings are… a ride. One minute we’re cuddling. The next minute he’s crying because his banana “broke” and I “don’t know how to fix it.” But then there’s that moment—right when I feel like I’m tapped out—when he looks at me and says, “Mommy, stay with me,” and my heart resets like a little battery recharge.

Real Talk: What’s Actually Helping Me Stay Sane

Here’s the part I wish someone had told me years ago: You cannot balance everything perfectly. But you can build a rhythm that makes life feel less like a tornado and more like a strong breeze. A few things that are actually working for me:

1. Pick your “bare minimums.”

Mine are:

  • One chore a day 

  • 10 minutes of tidying

  • protein + coffee in the morning

  • bedtime routine that I can stick to, not Pinterest

Everything else? Optional.

2. Over-communicate with your partner—even during training.

We do short check-ins about:

  • what the week looks like

  • what decisions need to be made

  • what I need support with

It reduces resentment and makes us still feel like a team.

3. Bedtime is sacred. Not for him—for me.

I don’t work after he goes to bed unless the world is literally ending. That time is for silence, reality TV, or doing absolutely nothing at all.

4. I say “no” more than I say “yes.”

No to events that drain me.
No to overcommitting.
No to feeling guilty for needing rest.
No is self-care.

5. I build “anchors” into the week.

Something small to look forward to:

  • Donut Friday

  • a 20-minute walk alone

  • a new episode of something stupid

Tiny joy breaks are not silly—they’re survival.

And Still… I’m Doing It (And So Are You)

Even when the days are long and the routines feel relentless…
Even when I’m exhausted from carrying the mental load alone for a bit…
Even when I fantasize about the nap I haven’t gotten since 2021…

I’m still showing up.
Still loving my family fiercely.
Still making it work.
Still pushing forward with messy, beautiful resilience.

Maybe balance isn’t about perfection. Maybe it’s about giving yourself grace, honoring the season you’re in, and remembering—you’re doing a really good job, even when it feels like chaos.


Next
Next

When Your Spouse is Away: The Realities of Military Training Season