Why I’ll Never Be That Girl (and I’m Fine With It)
In honor of it being Military Appreciation Month, I wanted to reach out to my fellow spouse and post about “Why I’ll Never be that Girl”, more specifically that spouse. Also, guess what THAT'S OKAY! There are tons of military spouses out there who constantly chase to be that perfect wife or be that most important Key Spouse. Guess what - you can just be you. Ultimately I realized early on that I was on a different journey than a lot of other military spouses. I did not get married for the benefits, paycheck, or whatever normal reason there was to get hitched at 21. At 21 I was out there girl bossing and hustling my husband is just a fun compliment to my life.
You will never find me talking about “our rank” or “our career”. I am my person and that is okay! I would urge more people to approach military life like this. If your goal is to be the best key spouse- go for it. Ultimately I tried to have it all. I tried to be a key spouse and a career woman. These two things felt like they were always in conflict with each other and years of being in a sorority taught me that there are always mean girls who just may change to being a key spouse who does not understand you have work and cannot attend a brunch meeting.
Ultimately we all have our paths to journey on. That is the beauty of free will and being able to pick the course you want to go on in your life. Choosing yourself is what is the most important. Through picking myself I have found out that I may be slightly hyper-independent and do not always rely on others but that's okay - it’s fine. The most important part of not being “That Girl”, has taught me the beauty in finding a level of comfort in being uncomfortable. Learning how to be different means that I will never be the best key spouse, the best room mom, or even the best spouse, and that's okay. Why is this okay? Because I decided to make my path and this is what I have picked out.
My advice for anyone out there finding out how to not be “That Girl” - get a thick skin. Being different is not easy because from time to time you may have an identity crisis. How do you deal with this? Outline what's going on - write down the good. For example: Today I won at being a mom because my kid tried a bunch of different foods and didn't have a meltdown! #Winning. Now did he eat all of it - no. Did he have to be slightly bribed - yes. Did I give in when he did not finish the food and then wanted Ice cream - sure didn’t we, didn’t finish dinner? Ultimately I could have gone down the rabbit hole of not being the perfect mom or “that girl”, but taking a step back and saying I won because we tried new food, and I stuck to the limits that I set. HECK YEA, I WON.
While I will never be “that girl” I am grateful to all the women and girls who are those stellar wives, spouses, moms, and support functions. Thank you for making the meals for the families that I may or may not send doordash to on the food train. Thank you to all the overprotective moms because I have learned a tip or two - but also learned my kid needs to be adventurous so long as he feels safe. Just remember - its okay not to be “that girl” we are all meant to stand out for something, so maybe stand-out to be different, just make sure to be true to yourself.